


Meeting The Guardians

by josiemoone



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Muggle, M/M, Meet the Family, Modern Era, Muggle Technology, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black Lives, Technology, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 18:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12326853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiemoone/pseuds/josiemoone
Summary: Will Draco meeting the 'Dad's', Sirius and Remus, go down well for Harry?





	Meeting The Guardians

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta-d.
> 
> Written for the wonderful TheWaterFalcon, who is the best friend a girl could have, BUT she's fine and I don't share. 
> 
> [Remus has epilepsy just FYI, I didn't want to make him have scars. When my sister was feeling weak, she did eat red meat at the ordering of my dad for her health. So, that is why I used it.]

 

** Meeting The Guardians **

**Key:  
Sirius ** _Remus_ HarryDraco

* * *

**(Sirius & ** _Remus)_

* * *

**(1:45 pm) I need you to not freak out.  
** **(1:47 pm) And remember I love you.**

_(1:49 pm) If you burnt the kitchen again I swear to all that is leather, I will smite you._

**(1:54 pm) Well. If you did that, you'd be without my loveable smile and charismatic attitude for life. And that doesn't seem a life worth living at all.**

_(1:56 pm) Ugh._

**(2:02 pm) Anyways. I invited Harry over for tea and the blond.**

_(2:04 pm) Draco?_

**(2:07 pm) Yes. The blond. Now I was going to turn the chicken into something that resembled a head, you know, for the banter?**

_(2:11 pm) I don't think anyone would find that funny, but do continue._

**(2:12 pm) Well you know, he's a Malfoy. The Black family collected dog heads?**

_(2:14 pm) Which is disturbing.  
_ _(2:16 pm) I don't think Malfoy's collect human heads. Because you know. It's weird._

**(2:17 pm) You're talking semantics and it hurts my already fried brain.  
(2:19 pm) And I know you know they murdered people, right? So. Shh.**

_(2:22 pm) How long have you been turning the chicken into a human head?_

**(2:25 pm) Well. I had to cook it. And the smell and the hunger kind of overpowered me. So I wondered if you'd buy another one on your way home.**

_(2:26 pm) No.  
_ _(2:27 pm) I'll order._

 **(2:29 pm) Order?**  
**(2:30 pm) What?**  
**(2:31 pm) How. Dare. You?**  
**(2:32 pm) Order!  
** **(2:33 pm) I'm a culinary mastermind.**

_(2:35 pm) You watched one programme by Jamie Oliver. That is it._

**(2:37 pm) Moony. Why don't you love me?**

_(2:39 pm) I love you endlessly._

**(2:41 pm) You can't do. Because clearly, you hate me.**

_(2:42 pm) I don't and you're dramatic again. Did you have another cappuccino?_

**(2:43 pm) My emotions are not centred around how much caffeine I have.**  
**(2:44 pm) God!  
** **(2:46 pm) You're unbelievable!**

 _(2:48 pm) Why thanks.  
_ _(2:49 pm) ;)_

**(2:51 pm) That's my line.**

_(2:54 pm) And yet, it sounds so much better coming from me._

**(2:55 pm) I dislike you today.  
** **(2:56 pm) They're coming at 7 btw.**

_(2:57 pm) I get home at 7._

**(2:59 pm) Perfect. Just in time then,** **we do have guests coming, Remus. A bit of organisation wouldn't hurt you.**

_(3:03 pm) You're breaking me._

**(3:04 pm) I hope to be later.  
(3:05 pm) In half. And I love you too.**

_(3:06 pm) Stop smut-talking with me when I'm out._

**(3:08 pm) Haha. Boner again?**

_(3:09 pm) I hate you._

**(3:10 pm) hahahahahahah ha.**  
(3:10 pm) LOL  
(3:11 pm) ha

* * *

(Harry & Draco)

* * *

(2:45 pm) We are going at seven. Can you refrain from being a Pureblood arsehole for one evening? Also. Don't wear a three-piece suit, you'll be heavily overdressed.

(2:48 pm) How anyone in a suit is overdressed I'm not sure? But fine.  
(2:49 pm) I have a bottle of Merlot.

(2:51 pm) My dad's drink beer. Please don't bring the merlot.

(2:51 pm) It's like you don't want me to be me. I'm a snob. Let me at least show that with fine wine instead of my clothes.

(2:55 pm) You know, people actually hate wealth being shoved in their faces?  
(2:55 pm) Also. My dad is rich.

(3:01 pm) Your dad is a disgrace to his family and gained a lot of money by being the only one smart enough to survive.

(3:02 pm) Rich.

(3:02 pm) You're annoyingly sharp today.

(3:04 pm) I had a good night sleep for once.  
(3:05 pm) I didn't have someone punching me in the face or shouting get off me, Blaise. It was pleasant.

(3:06 pm) Finding humour in a traumatic event is not funny, Potter.

(3:11 pm) You're so hot when you call me that. It makes me just want you all that bit more when you remind me you were once a prick who couldn't call me by my first name.

(3:12 pm) I didn't like it.

(3:13 pm) My name? Your name is fucking Draco. It is Latin.

(3:14 pm) Oui.

(3:15 pm) Ugh.

(3:16 pm) So you don't mind me whispering French into your ear when I'm fisting your hair, but in conversation, as you 'pretend' to work, is a no.

(3:16 pm) You're an arse.

(3:17 pm) I have an exceptional arse, oui. But I'm not an arse, non.

(3:18 pm) No.

(3:19 pm) No, the French for no, is non.

(3:22 pm) I know. I'm just stating no.  
(3:22 pm) My dad asked if you like chicken.

(3:23 pm) This the vegetarian one that is testing me? Or the leather wielding biker who paints for a living?

(3:24 pm) The latter.   
(3:26 pm) And he isn't vegetarian. He just eats red meat when he's feeling anaemic.

(3:38 pm) He eats vegetables, salads and chips until he 'needs' a fix of beef. He's a fake vegetarian.  
(3:38 pm) I don't dislike chicken. Why?  
(3:39 pm) Also, I need to wrap my head around the family dynamic. The biker is your Godfather?

(3:41 pm) Yes.

(3:42 pm) And the other one is your dad's best friend.

(3:44 pm) They were all best friends.

(3:47 pm) And they were banging?

(3:48 pm) Yes.  
(3:48 pm) No. Sirius and Remus, my adopted Dads were.  
(3:49 pm) Well, technically my mum and dad... Can we stop?

(3:51 pm) Are you uncomfortable?

(3:52 pm) A little. They're my dad's.  
(3:52 pm) All three of them.

(3:54 pm) Good.  
(3:55 pm) I'll continue.  
(3:56 pm) Are they married?

(3:56 pm) No.

(3:56 pm) And your parents were?

(3:57 pm) Yes.

(3:58 pm) Right.

(4:01 pm) Don't bring up the car accident. Please!

(4:02 pm) Oh. My interest has peaked.

(4:04 pm) Draco. People died.

(4:05 pm) Harry.  
(4:05 pm) I know. Again. Been dating you a while, I'm not Longbottom who needs to write things down to remember. I remember - parents dead. Car crash.

(4:07 pm) It's a sensitive subject. My dad's lost their best friends that night and it still upsets them.

(4:09 pm) I'll be good.  
(4:09 pm) I assure you.  
(4:10 pm) I'll save all car-crash related jokes for another evening  
(4:11 pm) ;) 

(4:12 pm) I don't believe you. I feel I shouldn't believe you.

(4:14 pm) You know my dad hates your biker-dad?

(4:15 pm) Yes. I've heard about it from both tables, multiple times.

(4:15 pm) Imagine them sitting around a table at our wedding. Oh, the fun we can have.

(4:16 pm) Wedding?

(4:17 pm) Well. That's awkward. You don't wish to marry me, Harry James Potter?

(4:17 pm) Not that I hadn't thought of it. It just didn't seem you'd want too.

(4:17 pm) An entire blood-line of marriages and firstborn sons and you didn't think I'd want too.

(4:18 pm) Well you aren't with a woman, are you? You're the first in your 'lineage'

(4:18 pm) Ugh. Until your dad ruined it I would have been.

(4:19 pm) Please don't bring that up either. It makes you sound spoilt.

(4:20 pm) I am.

(4:22 pm) I know that. You know that. They probably already know that. But could you attempt to be less nose up in the air and 'My father will hear about this' for one dinner?

(4:22 pm) You're asking a lot.

(4:25 pm) I have to go. Last conference call. I'll meet you there, and I'll send the address.  
(4:25 pm) Draco.

(4:26 pm) Fine.

(4:27 pm) Are you promising me?

(4:27 pm) I am.  
(4:27 pm) Sorta.  
(4:27 pm) ;)

(4:28 pm) Love you.  
(4:28 pm) Draco!  
(4:30 pm) Malfoy!

(4:30 pm) Ugh!

(4:31 pm) I hate you.

(4:32 pm) Fine.  
(4:32 pm) I love you too. Don't piss any more colleagues off. Remember phone voice still shows hatred.

* * *

**(Sirius &  _Remus)_**

* * *

**(5:01 pm) Is the blond a lawyer? Or something with lawyers?**

_(5:03 pm) He is. I'm at the supermarket, so we need bread?_

**(5:05 pm) You need to get your prescription or you'll die.**

_(5:05 pm) As always, thanks._

**(5:07 pm) No problem. Can't live without my Moony.**

_(5:09 pm) You know, just for future reference, I won't die right away? You'd have time to help me._

**(5:11 pm) I feel like you know I wouldn't, and for that reason, you should always prepare for the likelihood that I'll watch you, sobbing.**

_(5:12 pm) Helpful._

**(5:14 pm) We don't have bread.**

_(5:16 pm) Okay. Why did you ask about Draco?_

**(5:18 pm) I'm thinking he can help me with something.**

_(5:22 pm) Sirius. Nothing illegal!_

**(5:23 pm) But what better way to bond than a bit of devious villian-ry.**

_(5:24 pm) Your son is a respected trainee police officer, do not make things difficult for him._

**(5:27 pm) You're a spoilsport.**

_(5:29 pm) I love you also._

**(5:41 pm) Where's the picture of Harry with crayons up his nose?**

_(5:42 pm) No._

**(5:44 pm) Fine.  
** **(5:45 pm) The one and the electric car.**

_(5:46 pm) he one where he sobbed? No._

**(5:47 pm) You're the worst. I found it. And ink cartridge for the printer. Intriguing.**

_(5:49 pm) I am on the bus. DO NOT DO ANYTHING._

**(6:01 pm) Guess what. Lol. Peter has asked if he can come. I said no. I think he cried.**

_(6:03 pm) What why?!_

**(6:05 pm) Well, I think he cried because he was sad about not being invited, which is fuckin jokes.**

_(6:06 pm) You're a heartless SOB_

**(6:06 pm) I am. I love that you use my initials to hurt me. It doesn't.**

_(6:07 pm) Why are you a dick to peter?_

**(6:07 pm) You said it's family?!**

_(6:09 pm) Peter is family, you fucking dick. Call him up and invite_ _him._

**(6:09 pm) God, you're confusing. Fine, I'll ring him. Can you get me some pepperoni?**

_(6:11 pm) If it's for the chicken-human-head, no. If it's for your sandwich, yes._

**(6:14 pm) Peter is adopting your vegetarian-ness and said he isn't coming as it's too short notice.**

_(6:15 pm) Ok, I'll ring him tomorrow. I'm not a vegetarian. I just don't like chicken._

**(6:16 pm) Which is a staple in meat lovers diets.**

_(6:16 pm) I prefer red meat._

**(6:17 pm) Which is bad for your health Moony! It's like you don't even care about living.**  
**(6:17 pm) Moony!  
** **(6:18 pm) Don't you ignore me you RJL**

_(6:22 pm) You're cute._

**(6:25 pm) Don't you patronise me through text message. I can sense it! I'm not thick.**  
**(6:26 pm) Well… except somewhere else ;)**  
**(6:28 pm) Remus!  
** **(6:29 pm) You're missing an innuendo.**

_(6:30 pm) Texts don't disappear Pads. I can see them. I'm on the bus. In rush hour traffic. Just give me a second_

**(6:32 pm) It's better if you reply as instantly as I do.**

_(6:35 pm) You're so needy._

**(6:36 pm) That I am. Can you come home now?**  
**(6:37 pm) Like right now.  
** **(6:38 pm) Just… come through the fireplace or something. Like Santa!**

_(6:40 pm) I can't._

**(6:42 pm) Why?**

_(6:44 pm) Because I'm not magical._

**(6:45 pm) So much would be better with magic  
(6:46 pm) You're so magical… in bed. **

_(6:47 pm) Fuck sake.  
(6:48 pm) Just got off the stop, open the front door you bean-head. _

* * *

(Harry & Draco) 

* * *

 

(6:59 pm) I am outside. I think. It looks 'posher' than you described.

(6:59 pm) Coming.  
(7:02 pm) A dickie bow? Really?  
(7:05 pm) And fucking 1972 Merlot? Who the fuck even does that?

(7:11 pm) Stop texting me, I am attempting to woo them.

* * *

_**(Sirius & ** _Remus)_ _

* * *

_(7:32 pm) Sirius Orion Black, get down from the toilet and stop being an arse to your son's boyfriend._

**(7:34 pm) One second.**

_(7:34 pm) If you're playing Candy Crush instead of socialising I'm flushing the blasted thing. I. AM. UNCOMFORTABLE._

**(7:36 pm) So will I if you don't let me shit, Moony.**

_(7:37 pm) You are not shitting in the same house that we have guests in._

**(7:39 pm) Well, I'm not next door.**

_(7:46 pm) Get your arse downstairs and explain this ludicrous pudding._

**(7:49 pm) Ahh. That.**

* * *

(Harry & Draco) 

* * *

(8:01 pm) Does your 'Dad' usually make a pudding that resembles dead faces? I mean I get it. He thinks my family are murderers, but he's so... direct.

(8:02 pm) He does not usually. You must be special.  
(8:02 pm) I'm sorry. It's a bit weird. 

(8:04 pm) I think it is fucking hilarious.  
(8:05 pm) Truly.  
(8:05 pm) He's like Hester.

(8:06 pm) You're so posh it freaks me out. No one calls Hester Blumenthal, Hester.

(8:07 pm) You do if you have his phone number.

(8:09 pm) Shut the fuck up. My Dad will die.

* * *

(Harry & Remus) 

* * *

(8:24 pm) I think Dad likes Draco.

_(8:25 pm) Wait for it._

* * *

(Harry & Draco)

* * *

(8:27 pm) Are you okay? I should have warned you about the level of hatred my dad feels for your relatives and his own.

* * *

_**(Sirius & ** _Remus)_ _

* * *

_(8:33 pm) As if you told Draco Great-Aunt used to behead her dogs and keep them._

**(8:34 pm) It's fucking true.**

_(8:35 pm) No one needs that information.  
(8:36 pm) It is also not first-meeting-appropriate conversation. Oh hey, Draco. Your grandparents used to murder people and bury them in your garden, here is a pudding. Oh, and, your great-aunt used to murder dogs and keep their heads in the library._

**(8:39 pm) That all sounds fine to me. What's your issue?**

* * *

(Harry & Draco) 

* * *

 

(8:56 pm) I think your dad might be the coolest person I've ever met. He actually hates his parents.

(8:57 pm) That he does. Thankfully I never met them.

(8:58 pm) Why thankfully? They're related to me, so clearly they were awesome.  
(8:58 pm) Lupin is alright. I'm sure I remember him teaching me in primary school.

(8:59 pm) Yeah. When you were a git. Stop texting me sat next to me, it's weird.

(8:59 pm) This, my glasser-wearing-boyfriend, is what all the cool kids do.

(9:01 pm) How the frick do you win court cases.

(9:01 pm) Devilish good looks.

(9:02 pm) Delete that photo you just took. I don't care how 'adorable' I am.

(9:02 pm) You have dimples and your scar is so red.

* * *

_**(Sirius & ** _Remus)_ _

* * *

_(9:02 pm) Harry is giving you death glares for getting bath pictures out._

**(9:03 pm) Winner.**

_(9:03 pm) He actually looks murderous. He looks like Prongs._

**(9:05 pm) Double winner.**

* * *

**(Sirius** & Harry)

* * *

**(9:09 pm) Don't cry Harry.**

(9:10 pm) I'd tell you to F off but I think you'd be proud.

**(9:11 pm) I'd be so fucking proud. My little tyke, swearing and kissing boys.**

(9:12 pm) You're the weirdest Dad ever.  
(9:13 pm) But I love you.

**(9:15 pm) Even with the photo of you sobbing in the electric car?**

* * *

_**(Sirius & ** _Remus)_ _

* * *

_(9:25 pm) Where have you gone now?_

**(9:34 pm)Draco wanted the shop.**

_(9:35 pm) Draco?_

**(9:47 pm) He's stood next to me. Be cool.**

_(9:48 pm) He's not a murderer, Sirius._

* * *

(Harry & Draco) 

* * *

(9:48 pm) Why have you gone to the shop with my dad?  
(9:49 pm) Draco.  
(9:49 pm) Malfoy.  
(9:50 pm) Answer me.

(10:00 pm) Your dad says to be cool.

(10:01 pm) I hate you both.

* * *

(Harry &  _Remus)_

* * *

(10:15 pm) I'm gonna go in a minute, I wanted to an hour ago before Dad kidnapped Draco. Make sure Dad doesn't do that kiss thing.

_(10:17 pm) Your Dad's affections are not controlled by me. Although I wish I could._

(10:17 pm) He kissed me in Aldi the other day. On the forehead. Told me he was proud that I bought my own toilet paper.

_(10:18 pm) He picked me up and tried to put me in a trolley. Sorry son, I win._

(10:19 pm) Did you like it?

_(10:22 pm) A little. Until he made out I had something wrong with me, and then it was ruined._

(10:22 pm) Sirius Black, the man who takes it too far. Remus Lupin, the man who lets him.

_(10:23 pm) You sound like your Mum._  
_(10:23 pm) Stop smiling like that. Creepy Son._

* * *

_**(Sirius & ** _Remus)_ _

* * *

_(10:22 pm) Do you like Draco then?_

**(10:23 pm) Blondy is okay, I mean he's distantly related to me, so of course he's fan-fucking-tastic.**

_(10:24 pm) You went out with him for 35 minutes, so I hope you like him more than that. Where are you?_

**(10:25 pm) Um. Garage?**

_(10:26 pm) WE. HAVE. GUESTS. That. Are. Leaving. Get your arse in here._

**(10:27 pm) Why?  
** **(10:27 pm) You missing it?**

_(10:28 pm) Maybe._

**(10:28 pm) Naughty Moony. I'll have to show you a lesson later.**

_(10:29 pm) JISOHDFBALSKD/_

**(10:29 pm) Moony?**

_(10:31 pm) Dropped my phone. Be cool._

**(10:31 pm) That's my line ;)**

* * *

(Harry & Draco) 

* * *

(11:02 pm) My dads like you.

(11:03 pm) They aren't as bad as I thought.

(11:05 pm) You like Bike-Dad the best don't you?

(11:05 pm) Nah. Lupin won the evening with his tale about why he is called Moony.  
(11:06 pm) Who the F moon's Headmistress McGonagall.

(11:07 pm) Apparently my Dad.

(11:09 pm) I cannot wait to wind my father up at breakfast tomorrow. 'So I heard that Mr Black dyed your hair blue. Was this before or after you began to detest him?'

(11:10 pm) I'll never be allowed around.

(11:11 pm) Of course, you will. I'll cry until they let you.

(11:14 pm) Ever the spoilt brat.

(11:16 pm) What is the saying, a five-pound note doesn't change its shade?

(11:17 pm) Leopards don't change their spots.

(11:17 pm) Pauper.

(11:19 pm) Rich bastard.

(11:20 pm) You love it.

(11:20 pm) Meh.

(11:23 pm) You take that back and love me.  
(11:24 pm) Potter  
(11:30 pm) POTTAH  
(11:33 pm) Harry.

(11:36 pm) Sorry, Showering. I'll think about it.

(11:37 pm) Le sigh.  
(11:37 pm) Annoyed for the lack of invite. LE SIGH.

(11:39 pm) You're a prick.

(11:39 pm) I feel like that is a general statement, what did I do this time to acquire the title tonight?

(11:40 pm) You stuck a billion photos of me crying in that fucking car to the ceiling of my bedroom!

(11:41 pm) Ah. That.  
(11:41 pm) Your flat is closer than the shop on a motorbike. Apparently, your dad had these for a while.  
(11:41 pm) Your dad and I really do get along quite well.  
(11:43 pm) You should be more worried about that. FYI.

* * *

(Harry & Sirius) 

* * *

(11:42 pm) DAD! WHAT THE HELL

* * *

_(Remus_ **& Sirius) **

* * *

_(11:45 pm) SIRIUS? GET OUT THE TOILET SO I CAN SHOUT AT YOU._

* * *

**(Sirius** & Draco) 

* * *

 

**(11:46 pm) LOSE THIS NUMBER. WE HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED.**

(11:47 pm) Yeah. By me.  
(11:47 pm) ;)  
(11:48 pm) Night Night, Black.

**(11:50 pm) Oh, touche, you little fucker. You told him this was my idea?  
(11:51 pm) I like you. I fucking like you a lot, Blond-one.**

**Author's Note:**

> Find Me On Tumblr: [josiemoone](https://josiemoone.tumblr.com)


End file.
